Southern Illinois via Mexico
“You know what, you are such a sorry excuse for a man that every time I look at you I feel better about myself.”
I wish I could deliver that line to you with the absolute relish with which it was delivered in person. The audience was made up of four bearded men and one beardless gent who was the intended target of this barb. The accent was vaguely southern but didn’t have the exact twang of any part of the south I could identify so I inquired, “First of all, I think we could be friends…. And secondly, I can’t place your accent…where are you from?”
Well, this was a crowd who had just been waiting for someone to ask that question.
I should mention that this exchange happened at a resort in Mexico at 5am in a little coffee shop that is open 24 hours a day…..can you imagine if I lived near a coffee shop open 24 hours a day…..I’d need new keyboards every six weeks. The gentlemen in question were on their way to a fishing expedition and I was trying to get my word count in even while on vacation (picture me looking heroically off into the distance).
After my question, these five men explained to me in great detail the exact locations in southern Illinois where they each resided. If pressed and if I put SIU in the center of it I could draw you a map to their homes.
The joy with which they explained to some random woman in a coffee shop in Mexico where they lived, why they were in Mexico, and how one of them wasn’t going to catch any fish was fun to experience.
I can picture these same men in Wisconsin or Georgia or anywhere really, using the mysterious language of male friendship. I didn’t get the chance to ask a second question but if I had, it would have been ‘how did you guys meet?’. I’ve witnessed this sort of banter among high school classmates, siblings, co-workers and people who served in the military together. Almost exclusively among men with some kind of treasured bond. Instead of complimenting or inquiring about scent, style or shoes (as many women friends would) they figure out a way to say ‘you are my friend’ by disparaging their scent, style or shoes.
This male banter is something I’ve thought a lot about over the course of my life. I think my main character will have people in his life who he will talk to like this….and someone undoubtedly will deliver that line about ‘sorry excuse for a man’.
