Small Towns on Mars
Not all Small Towns are the Same
As I have to be places for various reasons, I try to find locally owned coffee shops to work in for a few hours (or to procrastinate in, whatever). When I’m outside the Midwest, it sometimes feels like I’m on a different planet. A planet where people actually say what they’re thinking out loud.
Currently I’m sitting in Paducah, Kentucky in a coffee shop Siri found for me. I have history with Paducah: a college friend was from here, one of our kids went to college nearby (closest nice restaurants and airport), and today I’m just passing through on my way home.
The accents here are charmingly familiar. The unfiltered stream-of-consciousness commentary? Less so. I’m not sure if it’s a Southern thing or just a Paducah thing, but the barista behind the counter today is sharing every single thought that crosses her mind with complete strangers. It’s like having a podcast playing live in front of you. Here’s a sample:
Customer (pointing at something in the pastry case): What’s that?
Barista: I don’t know.
Customer: Okay…..
Barista: Well it’s supposed to be honey nut oat loaf but I don’t know. Let me smell it.
She proceeds to sniff the pan containing slices of cakey bread.
Barista: Yeah that’s honey nut oat loaf. Sometimes they put it in the wrong place instead of putting it where it’s supposed to go, which is right there. It looks right and it smells right so I guess that’s what it is.
Customer: Okay I’ll have a slice of that.
Barista nods and starts to plate the honey nut oat loaf.
Barista (to her co-worker): You are going to have to turn that machine all the way off and then wait for it to heat up again. It takes about 10 minutes. Then it will magically start working again. I’ve already done it once this morning but sometimes it takes a couple of tries. I had to do it three times last week.
Co-Worker: Yes ma’am.
Barista: You don’t have to call me ma’am.
Co-Worker: But you’re my elder.
Barista: I’m 28! I’m not an elder.
Co-Worker: But you’re older than me. I’m only 20.
I’ve been sitting here for 45 minutes and I now know: the proper location for all of the items in the pastry case, the exact difference between Gen Z and the Alphas, the quirks of their espresso machine, someone’s boyfriend drama, and the barista’s opinion on the new parking regulations downtown.
Nobody here is curating their comments. They are not trying to look cool. It’s chaotic and unfiltered and a little overwhelming for this early in the day. But you know what? I kind of love it.